Anna Nicole & Shane Gibson, Alfred Sears & Bahamian Teachers, BTC & Customers

by Larry Smith

BABYSITTERS FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS

The boffins over at ThinkProgress - who produce "hard-hitting research and analysis you can’t find anywhere else" - described the death of Anna Nicole Smith last week as "a feeding frenzy" for the American media that drowned coverage of the war in Iraq.

"NBC’s Nightly News devoted 14 seconds to Iraq compared to 3 minutes and 13 seconds to Anna Nicole. CNN referenced Anna Nicole 522% more frequently than it did Iraq." ThinkProgress reported.

And this hardcore research was confirmed by CNN talk royalty, Larry King, who declared Smith's death "the number one story around the world”.

Here in Nassau, radio talk show callers focused on Immigration Minister Shane Gibson's "close" relationship with the expired stripper. Many Bahamians in the know praised Gibson for "reaching out to help a distressed lady in a Christian act of compassion."

In fact, Gibson was so compassionate that he delegated his mum to babysit Smith's infant daughter (for a reported $500 a week) while the one-time Playmate visited Florida - where she passed out in a hotel room and was pronounced dead shortly afterward at the age of 39.

Many commentators pointed out that the former Texas fry cook ended her life in much the same way as her idol, Marilyn Monroe, did almost half a century ago. Monroe indulged in publicity stunts in the Bahamas before overdosing on sleeping pills back in the US, and it is likely that Smith succumbed to the prescription tranquilizers and painkillers that littered her hotel room.

“I think she had too many drugs," Smith's perceptive mother, Vergie Arthur, told ABC’s Good Morning America last Friday. “I tried to warn her about drugs and the people that she hung around with, but she didn’t listen.”

And what mother hasn't said those words?

When People Magazine reported that Smith's baby was being cared for in Nassau by Gibson's mother, Bahamian online news sites (including this one) were deluged with Internet searches for Mr Compassionate.

That's because the infant daughter - who is the subject of a paternity struggle between present and former lovers of the late nude model - could stand to inherit a mega-million-dollar fortune. The money is her mother's share of the estate of the elderly billionaire whom she married a few years ago, just before he kicked the bucket.

There's nothing like a little sex and money to make things interesting in a political season.

IS ALFRED SEARS OUT TO LUNCH - AND DINNER?

I mean, where does Alfred Sears live? And more to the point, does his driver know where to take him in the mornings?

After presiding over a disastrous school opening last September, the erudite Mr Sears (who has been education minister for the past five years) is suddenly caught at the centre of a storm he says is not of his making. It seems that hundreds of teachers he hired last year have not been paid what they were promised, and many are living hand to mouth as a result.

The first time this issue came up in parliament weeks ago, the erstwhile education minister expressed disbelief that such a thing could happen in our Bahamaland. And not wanting to be found lacking in the compassion department when compared to his colleague over at Immigration, he agreed to look into it.

But it took an angry teachers' strike on Grand Bahama last week to force the government to act. Fortunately, by then the methodical Minister Sears had used his six-figure academic training to figure out what the problem was. A PLP web site reported his explanation to parliament this way:

"What had happened was that many teachers had been brought onto the system at the minimum of their scales until the Public Service Commission had caught up with the paper work and put them into their proper scales.

"This process is often long and involved and the bureaucracy does not have the wherewithal to cope with the large demands placed on it for timely processing. The Public Service Commission has agreed to process them on a special basis."

Well, how awfully good of them to arrange such a courtesy for those obnoxious teachers. I mean, how dare they demand to be paid after eight months? Such effrontery must not go unpunished. In our view they should all be sent to Fox Hill to teach the inmates!

In fact, the PLP web site mentioned earlier (which many observers believe has a direct line to the cabinet office) simultaneously condemned the teachers while laughably lamenting the fact "no one is concerned about process" in the running of the country:

"The Bahamas Union of Teachers is one of the main reasons why the country is in a mess today. Their leadership believes in shortcuts and cutting through processes that end up making the situation worse...Just give me my money and give it to me now."

To which the teachers leader on Grand Bahama, Rudy Sands, responded: "If that is the problem then we have to dismantle the Ministry of Public Service because teachers need to be paid."

Meanwhile, the scholarly Mr Sears was left plaintively asking teachers to "tone down the rhetoric". We wonder what his reaction would be if his minister's salary was not being paid?

BTC RING-AROUND...

There was another letter to the editor this week by a flipped-out customer moaning about BTC - the telecoms monopoly which spends more money advertising its appalling services than it does fixing them.

I say that because BTC's promotional budget is obviously a key item in the company's business plan, even though we are forced to use their equipment and services no matter what. It is odd that this incredible irony seems to escape BTC's decision-makers.

But I digress. Let's get back to the disgruntled customer (or if he wasn't exactly disgruntled, he was very far from being gruntled - as my old english teacher pal used to say).

"I am sorry to have to write to the Tribune, but I have tried to contact (BTC) by phone and by email to no avail." realtor Peter Dupuch frothed. "After playing ring around your stupid telephone recording I am put through to (support) and get a message that says if I am having a problem I should leave a message...You never did, nor will you ever, return my call."

His constructive conclusion: "Everybody would be much better off if you just closed down."

We sympathise with this poor, downtrodden realtor - who claims to have lost an important sale because of Batelnet service - or lack of it. In fact, Tough Call has had many similar experiences with BTC's phone service (don't all jump up at once now).

Recently I conducted an experiment. After accepting an invitation for a 'try before you buy' Blackberry account - I decided not to buy. But that didn't stop BTC from billing me month after month for a non-existent service. So, smelling newspaper copy, I called BTC's heavily promoted customer service number.

After wading through the prompts, I was forwarded to a non-existent agent and immediately put on hold. After more than an hour, I went to lunch. And sure enough, when I returned, the advertising loop was still playing and I was still being politely asked to hold for service.

By then, I figured BTC had made its point.

The commercials playing on that loop were too hilarious for words under the circumstances. They all extolled BTC's "new direction" in customer service, as expressed in the slogan: "you talk, we listen". Why, there was even a specially commissioned verse by "world-renowned poet Michael Pintard". Here are just a few of the meaningless phrases we heard:

"It's because of you that we exist...our standards are international, our staff competent...efficiency is our goal...we want to serve you for life."

Actually, that last one is probably true, since most of us would prefer to commit suicide rather than call BTC for help.

And meanwhile, State Finance Minister James Smith keeps popping up in the Tribune business section to waffle on about the BTC privatisation process that has lasted for almost a decade. What's the latest on this, you ask?

"I guess it really depends on the appetite for moving forward," Smith said last week.

Well, duh!

Comments

[Chris Armaly]

All around a very good article this morning. Hammering home several important issues. One question…is there any shame in this country today, over anything??? From the top down in both parties, they're all a bunch of lowlife bums who would never make it in the private sector!

[EB Christen]

Great rant! A rant is about the only sensible response to the current political happenings. This sorry excuse for 'government' is so rotten and worthless. It isn't any longer the case that we should fear becoming the Banana Republic if we don't straighten up, but that we very much are that Banama Republic now - today. Until Bahamians demand more from their leaders and until accountability and common sense are the order of the day, that won't change. It is quite clear that this Prime Minister is content to let his ministers make a mockery of him and this country.

[Ian]

PLP all the way! The PLP is still strong, and Shane Gibson will be missed for sure.
But rest ashure The PLP is Still a strong And have the will of a mighty Party to Counquer!
Salute to the Prime Minister From Florida. Love You Perry G. Christe And the PLP [party].
Love all Yinna Bahamians. Victory all the way!

[Delia Campbell]

Let Anna Nicole Rest in Peace please

You know what I want? I wish that ANNA NICOLE could just finally rest in peace. Her life was one big circus and the media is making a bigger one out of her death. As for what Shane Gibson did, I would have done the same thing. We have to bear in mind that this woman should have been celebrating a joyous occasion - the birth of her daughter. But days later, her ONLY son.....dies.....the boy who she doted on (you would see this if you ever watched the show). What kind of grief is that that she must have gone through....I don't know. But in light of the fact that she was a high profiled celebrity - and guest in our country....I don't know if my heart could have been so hard toward her. I would have done what Shane did and try to make her grieving process just a bit smoother and easier. She would have gotten residency...flowers.... a card...and the most INFAMOUS visit.... Calll Me Mrs. Compassionate. Anyone who has watched the Anna Nicole Show knows that she is always all over someone or the other...that's just how she is.....In those Pics, Shane was not in his birthday suit, nor was he touching Anna in any inappropriate manner. This thing stinks to high heaven and will not sway my vote. I givin my vote to Jesus - not the FNM nor PLP. All dem need Jesus. I giving my vote to whoever has a campaign of love because that is where Jesus will be. He can't be in the middle of mess. This whole ordeal I think was soooo politically malicious to Shane and his family because the opposition had to cut down a good tree to try and start growing one of their own. There is no disputing that as Minister of Housing....and MInister of Immigration, Shane Gibson had everybody on their toes and HE DID HIS JOB!!! He wasn't even PLAYIN' doin that......HE DID IT>...and guess what, if he runs for his parliamentary seat again...HE IS GETTING BACK INNNNN>>>>>>>The man is a people's person. I applaud him for showing Anna Nicole Smith some Christian compassion in her time of need, on behalf of his family and the Bahamian people. I would have done it the same way............If I was in his constituency, I would vote for him without thinking. Politicians need to address issues such as crime, the rising rate of abused children, drugs, drug trafficking, recidivism in the prisons and persons who can get out on bail so easily after being charged with murder, poverty, illegal immigration, social injustice, labour concerns where employers are not credible and misuse and short change employees(the small man)....all of these things our politicians need to concentrate on. But nooooo...they want to try hurt up their head to see if Shane slept with Anna Nicole....(sucks teeth). Foolishness. This this is not about party anymore. This was a political ploy to discredit someone who was actually working for the people. There aint enough GAIN nor WOOLite to wash all the dirt most of these politicians have hidden in the closet. They just aint foolin around with someone as famous as Anna Nicole. Duh!! Some folks are just soo DIRTYYYY and want to think the WORST of people before they can give them credit for any good that they have done. I tired of it.....all of this was so uncalled for. Whoever is responsible for all of this media attention on The Bahamas, is not making potential tourists or investors look at The Bahamas as a tranquil tourist destination, but as one where not even our own people who live here can have some peace of mind. THIS THING IS BIGGER THAN SHANE OR ANNA NICOLE.......I don't even see The Bahamas tourist commercials anymore.....everyday I hear about the Bahamas......it's about Anna, the baby, Shane Gibson and Howard K. Stern. All of this was uncalled for......Let Anna Nicole REST IN PEACE...and BE AT PEACE FOR ONCE PLEASE. Let's get back to being a premier tourist destination...let's make the news as THAT>>>.

[larry smith]

Who the hell is Anna Nicole in terms of the bahamas?

What business did Shane Gibson have getting into her personal life?

And as for a massive conspiracy - give me a bleeding break.

[Dream Spyrt]

What is Bahamian law regarding citizenship? None of the newspariah in the United 'States have bothered to confirm the status of Anna Nicole Smith's so called Bahamian "citizenship." They don't distinguish between her potential status of gaining permanent residency and receiving citizenship of the Bahamas. Did Smith renounce her United States citizenship? Nobody has yet shown any proof of that. And it is very unlikely since she had litigation pending in the U.S. concerning her deceased husband's estate. Without U.S. citizenship, Smith would not have an easier time winning the Marshall litigation. The law of the U.S. is clear regarding the citizenship of a child born of a mother who is a U.S. citizen. The child becomes a natural citizen of the U.S., no matter where the child is born whether that be on a yacht or airplane over open seas, or on foreign soil. But since Dannielynn was born on foreign soil, most newspariah are claiming she is NOT a U.S. citizen. She would on the otherhand, likely have dual citizenship of first and foremost the United States, then the Bahamas.

[larry smith]

There has never been any suggestion here that ANS sought or obtained Bahamian citizenship. She received permanent residency (without the right to work) as a result of her supposed "investment" in a multi-million-dollar home.

ANS' child born in the Bahamas has no claim to Bahamian citizenship under our constitution.

[Dream Spyrt]

Thanks for the reply. I am surprised that the child would not have a right to claim citizenship of the Bahamas because she was born there. That is interesting.

Here are a few who have claimed ANS pursued/had citizenship of the Bahamas.

New Bahamian citizen Anna Nicole Smith is dead

MIAMI, USA, February 9, 2007 - Just months after Anna Nicole Smith obtained permanent residency under controversy in the Bahamas, the former Playboy playmate and voluptuous Marilyn Monroe look-alike is dead...

http://www.caribbean360.com/News/Caribbean/Stories/2007/02/09/NEWS0000003984.html

Did Anna Nicole buy her Bahamian citizenship?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15066223/

[larry smith]

They are confusing citizenship with permanent residency.

There is no automatic right to citizenship for someone born of foreign parents in the Bahamas. Partly, this was written into the constitution to prevent tens of thousands of illegal Haitian immigrants from becoming automatic citizens.